When all the world is sleeping I sit awake.
What kind of person sits up til the wee hours of the night sitting by herself on a couch?
A military wife.
Because some nights facing an empty bed is harder than listening to music that makes her cry because at least if she is going to cry it might as well be with music that makes her think of him.
Why does someone torture themselves by spending countless nights alone?
A military wife.
Because she fell in love with a man first and a career second.
Because every second of every day she spends alone while he fights someone elses war, she thinks of the times they spend together.
Why would you put yourself through that kind of pain willingly?
Because he gave me his heart willingly. And its my job to keep it safe. Just as its his job to keep mine safe.
Why would you give up your life and all you want to do?
Because my life is with him. And no matter where he goes I go. We are a team and no one except another military wife would understand.
How can you give up on your dreams?
I never gave up my dreams. I just dream of him more than I do of anything else.
Why on earth would you go days on end with very little sleep and not think twice about it?
Because I live for emails not sleep. For the fleeting time I have between body forced sleep and class and kids to have a few brief moments where I can feel like we are even remotly close to each other. Because If I sleep when he is awake I might miss one extra email.Not because he asks me to. But because I would rather try and stay to see how his day is than worry about how mine would be if I had an extra hour of sleep. Because when I am awake I have things to do. When I sleep I have nothing to do but dream. And my dreams are filled with him, and when I wake and he isn't here that is a much colder reality to face than just staying awake.
Why do I do these crazy, often completely insane things?
Because I am a proud military spouse. I support my sailor. And I miss him. If I didn't do these things I would feel like I am letting him down. I do these things because I said " I Do". This is my vow. It means the same now as it did the day we got married. I promise to love a cherish you. To honor and protect you for all the days of my life. I will always be on the other end of a computer waiting for an email to say Hi! I miss you busy day talk to you soon. Because even 10 words most people would take for granted, a military spouse prays to hear. Because those 10 words means it is going to be a tolerable day because at least you heard from him.And those words means that he is still at the other end of a computer to. Wherever that may be. In whatever circumstances he may be in, he took 5 minutes to bring you into his day.
It's not a life everyone can live. It's not even an easy life for those who choose to live it. It is not like one day I decided hey I think I want to spend lonely nights by myself for months on end, worrying about things happening half a world away, avoiding the news so not to add to me worrying, so I can live a life of half exististance with half my heart missing all for the absolutely fantastic benifits that come with it. ( FYI insert sarcasim with that last remark ) No. I met a man who swept me off my feet, loves me for who I am, and honestly takes the best care of me, my kids, and my heart as anyone else in this world. And for him I would endure anything. He is the best part of me. And for that he is My Sailor, My Husband, My Hero. Always and forever.