There comes a point in your life where you stop and realize that where you have been has shaped your future. I am not always proud nor do I often enjoy talking about my past. However it has gotten me where I am today. The past doesn't shape the future it mearly gives it a starting to point. We all hold the shape of future in the palms of our hands. It is what we choose to do with it that gives it it's shape.
Sometimes our most memorable moments come when we least expect it. Those moments are the ones that have the power to take our breath away. It's these moments I have been thinking about lately.
There was a night in May several years ago that a friend I worked with and I decided to go out to eat. We got ready, went to eat at BWW and had a great time. While we were there I said to her " Since we got all dolled up why don't we head to the Cowboy and hang out there for a little while." Well we did. On that night, I met the absolute love of my life. He came to sit with me and my friend. He told me he was taking me home with him and to work the next morning. Which to some people would probably sound completely crazy. But to me it was the sexiest thing I had ever heard. I loved at that very moment how confident he was.
This one particular moment in my life has forever changed the way I look at things. I had never in my life met a man who had a confidence about him you could feel just by standing next to him. Nor had I ever met anyone who could make me feel complete just by holding my hand. I have come to find out a lot about myself by being with this incredibly amazing man. I have learned I am stronger than I ever imagined. Not because I have to be but because I want to be. I have learned I can love someone completely and not worry about what could go wrong. I have in the past always held back my love, waiting for the ball to drop, something to go wrong. In my past that has usually been the case. Something good followed by something bad. I have learned that no matter what I have someone that loves me for who I am, not for who I try to be when I am with them. I can actually be myself for a change. I have learned I actually like who I am. That who I am is a person that can face challenges, sometimes several at once, and adapt as needed and carry on without falling apart.
My husband gives me the confidence to be who I am.
The moral of this story is sometimes we tend to be stuck on the past. Too many times we let the past define who we are. We all have our "skeletons", we all have hard times we had to over come. Its what we have done with these things that define who we are , not the acts themselves. We should take the past events and use them to our benefit. Yes events happen, sometimes events happen that change our lives forever. There is nothing that can be done about them now. The only thing there is left to do is pick up the pieces and carry on. While this is easier said than done. What I can honestly say is things happen for a reason, while we not understand why they happen they shape us into the people we are. Sometimes death and sorrow come to us, so we may help others through it. Sometimes abuse comes so we can recognize the signs and also help someone else get out of a bad situation. Pain must be experienced so that you know what its like to feel complete joy. Heartbreak comes so when you find love you know and you know what you have to do to keep it. You must loose everything so that you can fully appreciate the things you have.I am not perfect. I have not had a perfect life. But my not perfect life has made me a better person. I enjoy life for the first time since I had no real responsibilities. I have love like I have never known. I can honestly say that there are people in my life that I trust. And trust has never come easy for me.
This life takes you on a roller coaster ride sometimes. But as long as you have a hang on and roll with it kind of attitude, you will make the best of it. Life is crazy, unpredictable and a non stop journey. We are just along for the ride. Make the best of what is handed to you each day and it will come back ten fold. We cant change the way things happen in our life, what we can change is how we look at ourselves once we have gotten through them.