This is actually a post from a little while ago, but I felt the need to share it on here. I do love my life. I would not change anything because in it's own funny way, this life has taught me more about myself than I ever knew before.Enjoy....
I once told myself, I would would NEVER marry a military man. My whole family is military. My whole life revolved around the military growing up why I on Earth would I possibly put myself and my kids through that. Ahhhhh but so is irony. The mind can tell us what it thinks we should do and the heart will make up its own mind. And so I fell helplessly and completely in love with a wonderful Navy man 3 years ago. And the I must confess that I probably knew the whole time I swore I would never go down that road, ultimately I would. After all what says strength more than a man willing to dedicate his life to the service of his country at any cost.What says commitment more than dedicating his life to people he has never met. Love more than willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for protecting freedom. So yes these were the qualities I always looked for and never really found until I met him. I truely met the person that completed me when I looked into his eyes.
So here I am a Navy wife. Proud of my husband and everything he serves for. A wonderful country that deserves each and every freedom we hold dear, or in some cases take for granted. To know that his family can grow up in a place that honors each person as an individual and that each individual is entitled to certain unquestionable rights. These things and many others are part of why I am so proud to be his wife. The way he is with the kids, and how he is to me, how he can make me laugh when all I want to do is cry are just a few others.
I openly agreed to the terms of being a Navy wife. The life is not easy, any military wife can tell you that. Husbands work long hours, duty days, deployments of course are always the hardest. But most will tell you, this life is not for everyone. You will either sink or swim. Sink. Huh well that just isnt an option for me. Still even if failure isn't an option, there are still those nights when I climb in bed, alone and have to think about why I have to deal with these times. Times in which the kids ask "When is Daddy coming home?" And without showing them my tears I say " Soon." When I know good and well soon isn't a very good answer, but they wouldn't understand the truth. So "soon" will have to do. The times when I am so excited about something that happened today and all I want to do is pick up the phone and call him or come home and tell him about it, and all I get to do is try to express it the best way I can in email version. Or the inevitable disaster happens and 7 other things go wrong and I just need a shoulder to cry on, or those wonderfully strong arms to hold me and tell me "It's ok", and the best I can get is a long distance version.So no the life is not a bed of roses. But if I focused on the thorns, then how could I see the beauty of the rose? The thought that somewhere there is a small child that is sleeping peacefully because they know they are safe, the young adult who watched Black Hawk Down ( or any other similiar movie) and said to themselves " I want to be a part of that", the person who left their country because all they knew was war and couldnt take it anymore. All those people who be affected if he and all the other brave men and women weren't out there doing what they do. So how can I possibly be selfish and want him to not do what he does? I guess because in a way we all are a little selfish sometimes. The true test comes in being able to put the selfishness aside to see the needs of others before ourselves.
Would I trade being a Navy wife? Not a chance! The bonds formed between the friends I have made with the other wives, former and currently serving I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Who else in the world could understand that one day you can be fine and laughing and the next day a total wreck. All because the one day you may have gotten 3 or 4 emails and the next day drills had internet down all day and you got nothing. Who else would understand why you let your husband record the message on the answering machine so that when you need to hear his voice all you have to do is call and let the machine pick up.They know what it's like also, because each of us have our own thing that helps keep us strong while our loved one is gone. They understand why the word good bye left your vocabulary when you met him. The military may be our life and his job, but its also our family. A family that sticks together and helps each other through the worst of times and the best of times.
I am a Navy wife. A member of the Silent Ranks. But in so many ways I am more than that. And I would not give any of these experiences up for anything