I am an American.
More importantly I am an AmeriCAN.
Why would I say that? Because I am so tired of everything being about what goes wrong and what CANT be done.
I hear all the time how do you it? And the cliche's that get asked of a military spouse. So here is how I REALLY feel about the issue.
Last time I checked my spouse is the one putting his life on the line not me. Yes I keep the home fires burning and handle everything that goes wrong when he is gone. And yes things go wrong the wife who tells you they had a perfect deployment 1. either spent it in an I love me jacket in a pretty room with cushy walls or 2. is LYING to you. Things go wrong. It happens. We deal with it and move on. BUT bottom line HE deals with the fact that he is not here to handle things that go wrong ( ps when you meet the solider who doesn't care that his wife or girlfriend or fiance is dealing with the seventh thing to go wrong in three months you probably met the only one in existence. Because all the ones I know it kills them to know they can't just fix it. ) and that he is stuck in the middle of no where having to miss all the things the kids are doing while he is away. The men and women of our armed services sacrifice daily so we can be free. They put the CAN in AmeriCAN. They can do their job even though they would rather be home. They CAN sacrifice it all for someone they have never met and would on any given day.
This is what military spouses know and love about their husbands or wives. The CAN DO attitude that most Americans do not have. We love them from great distances and through duty days, deployments, and crazy work hours, we would not give up our lives for anything. Yes our lives are more difficult than some. But its a life that also has many rewards. The overwhelming joy that floods your heart when you see the face of your loved one after 6-12 months of being gone, the look on your kids faces when daddy or mommy comes home finally, the calm that comes over you when you finally have those arms around you that have been gone for so long. So yes we have hard times but the good times are AMAZING.
So I think its about time that the NON military spouses and girlfriends listen up for a change. Because I for one have had it with some of their attitudes. So here goes......
1. A week apart from your beloved does NOT give you the right to sympathize with how I feel right now.
2. Traveling internationally for work or vacation may give you the right to worry BUT if that country is a dominant country and NOT a third world war ravened country not the same thing at all.
3. I appreciate that you feel bad for me but I don't need sympathy I need strength and your pity is not my definition of strength. Next time reword it. I am here for you is WAY better than Oh God Im SO sorry for you. You poor thing! That is insulting NOT helpful.
These are my top three offenders. As many other wives know there are many more. But what I would like to do is share something more positive instead.
Your tears may fall but as they do they wash away your fears. The wall may fall in sometimes but as they do your strength pushes them back up. Your faith may stumble but when get back up it is stronger than ever.
It is nice that we all have people that try and mean well when they express their feeling towards us but sometimes those expressions miss the mark. They show just how negative this country has become.
So lets us as military families show this country that it is NOT AmeriCANT it IS AmeriCAN. Because somewhere a solider is missing their family, or feeling lonely and alone, suffering with illness or injury, or paying the ultimate sacrifice so that we may live in a country that CAN. So let us not let them down. Try today to take the negative out of your life one tiny thing at a time until all we have are the positive things our men and women in uniform fight for.